Amphibian Bill of Rights

Aidan has requested that i post this; feedback would be greatly appreciated!

Amphibian Bill of Rights

Preamble

Congress of the amphibians begun and held at the City of New-York, on Friday the 4th of March, two thousand and ten

THE Conventions of a number of the species, having at the time of their adopting the Constitution, expressed a desire, in order to prevent misconstruction or abuse of its powers, that further declaratory and restrictive clauses should be added: And as extending the ground of amphibian confidence in the Government, will best ensure the beneficent starts of its institution.

RESOLVED by the Marsh and Swamp of Representatives of the amphibians of America, in Congress assembled, two thirds of both habitual assemblies concurring, that the following Articles be proposed to the Legislatures of the several States, as amendments to the Constitution of the United States, all, or any of which Articles, when ratified by three fourths of the said wetland houses of these States, to be valid to all intents and purposes, as part of the said Constitution; viz.

ARTICLES in addition to, and Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America, proposed by amphibians, and ratified by the assemblies of each wetland habitat, pursuant to the fifth Article of the original Constitution.[4]

Amendments

0. First Amendment – Establishment Clause, Free Exercise Clause; freedom of speech, of the press, Freedom of Religion, and of assembly; right to petition,

Under the first Amendment, we ask for the protection of our freedom of speech and our freedom of assembly. Corporations and Government have collaborated to destroy over half of the wetlands in the United States. Others, they have made uninhabitable through toxic dumping. Where are we to sing freely and mate if not in our own homes.

0. Second Amendment – Right to keep and bear arms.

We too, ask for the right to bear arms. Given our amphibious life cycle and porous skins, we are particularly susceptible to changes in environmental conditions. Over exposure to chemical pollutants and UV radiation due to ozone depletion have caused many of our children to be born with birth defects such that they lack or have malformed limbs. This makes their survival very difficult as they become prime targets for prey. Please give our children the ability to protect themselves.

0. Third Amendment – Protection from quartering of troops.

Corporate human forces of “development” continue to take up residence on lands that we call home in regions where, traditionally, we have been at peace. We have heard from our assemblies on Staten Island recently that these forces have declared war on the residents of Arlington Marsh. We ask you to kindly remove your forces of “real estate development” from our land.

0. Fourth Amendment – Protection from unreasonable search and seizure.

Your thirst for play-things and edible delicacies is dwindling our numbers. Traders seize thousands of our African cousins, whom you call Tomato Frogs, each year and sell them as pets in urban centers like New York and LA. Americans also import over 1.25 million pounds of our legs each year from developing countries with at risk amphibian populations. We ask that you cease subjecting us to these methods of search and seizure.

0. Fifth Amendment – due process, double jeopardy, self-incrimination, eminent domain.

Our edited version of the 5^th amendment states: No amphibian shall be subject to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb without due process of law and just compensation. Thus far, you have failed to adequately represent us in your legal discourse and through your actions; we are continually at risk of losing both our lives and limbs. We ask for compensation. Help us by allowing us to reclaim former wetland habitats and by constructing new ones in which we might live.

0. I don’t know what to do here - Sixth Amendment – Trial by jury and rights of the accused; Confrontation Clause, speedy trial, public trial, right to counsel

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district where in the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defense.

0. I don’t know what to do here - Seventh Amendment – Civil trial by jury.

In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise re-examined in any court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

0. Eighth Amendment – Prohibition of excessive bail and cruel and unusual punishment.

Purchasing the freedom of our imprisoned fellow amphibians is beyond our current means. Pharmaceutical companies and University laboratories value us as controllable labor and hold many amphibians hostage across the country because of the potentially life-saving toxins our skins produce. In these laboratories, we are poked, prodded, and subjected to disease agents that often result in our death. We are willing to collaborate with you in improving public health, but this treatment is excessive, cruel, and painful.

0. I’m not sure what to do with this one - Ninth Amendment – Protection of rights not specifically enumerated in the Bill of Rights.

The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

0. Or this one -Tenth Amendment – Powers of States and people.

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.

Other things to mention on the pamphlet: the benefits of frogs for the human population. Frogs can reduce the spread of insect borne viruses, like West Nile, and they can act as wonderful partners in integrated pest management systems on farmers – reducing our reliance on pesticides in agricultural production.

Here are some pictures I thought we might use: